Life was never easy. I was the shy girl – woman.
Uncertain of who I was and confused
by the fast moving world around me.
Forever I was looking out from within
my sheltered walls.
Being an attractive individual made it easy for
me to simply walk the streets to gain whistles
Still that never make up for the emptiness
that was my existence.
I’d watch as others would date,
marry, partner together to experience
all the comforts that love brings.
I hated young peoples that I attended at church.
Looking back I’m amazed that I even
bothered to attend.
I don’t think it helped in my growth socially.
But it did serve to amplify to myself, others,
the extent of my u-social behavior.
My shyness added scars to my heart
that truthfully it’s hard to put into words.
But the pain was real and festered
instead of healing with time.
My mother offered me little comfort.
But I was a great babysitter for my younger sibling.
This was also true for my sister who marrying
early and with working full time would often
have me babysit.
I’d worked as a teen in a number of fast food joints.
My first real job apart from babysitting
was at Wendy’s.
I had a lot of male fans congregate
my way on the job!!
There were times I had to get my manager
to intervene – the dirty minds.
Hey, mine wasn’t much better
but I never wore that truth on my sleeve.
Wendy’s wasn’t like McDonald’s.
You weren’t forced to wear a fake smile there.
But all the dang salts and peppers
on the tables had to face just so.
I maintained the salad bar very nicely.
I hated walking in and grabbing stuff for that
in the walk-in cooler behind the counter.
I was too fussy o’er it apparently.
People were ordering salads after viewing
my well-kept bar.
Not allowed ya know as the salad-bar
made Lit money and was only there
to bring in the customers.
These cute guys one time came in.
They came across as sweet.
So to impress them, I stuck my thumb into a Lil cup
holder filled with ketchup.
I could hear them talking about
what I’d done in the backdrop.
The thumb was bold but I wasn’t……